Better to get hurt, than to lose TRUST

Well, one of the weaknesses I've always had was being attached to people, especially people that I trust. I've always scared people away when I was younger when I get to know a friend more, cause I would always want to spend time with the person when I slowly mislead myself into believing that the person cares about me. So, I think I kinda don't have any close friends in my life,ever. I would always scare people away or make people think I'm super annoying. Well, I kinda still do that now, though it's not as bad.

People would always think that I'm strong when they see me for the 1st few times, but when I get closer with the person I tend to become vulnerable, showing my weak side. So, I guess with guy friends, they would find it annoying while female friends would think that I like them or sth. It kinda hurts a LOT when that happen; ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, thoughts of never ever getting close with another person crosses my mind. It feels better that way I guess; the thought of not getting close thus not getting hurt.

Why do I keep trusting people then? Why not just lose faith in people? Well, I think it's better to get hurt than to lose trust in people. I BELIEVE somewhere out there, there would be a true friend that will accept me for who I am. There's one thing I know though, that is to learn to be STRONGER so that I wouldn't need to rely on others. To be a source of strength, not the other way around.

P.S: Wen Lin, you are one of the very few true friends that I have, accepting me for who I am, being there for me when I need someone to understand. I hope I too can become a friend like that to you & to others one day:) That's why I will ALWAYS cherish you from the depths of my heart, thanking God for blessing me with a great sister like you.