The Power of WORDS

Teasing, gossiping, bad-mouthing a person, and any other forms of verbal bullying or abuse. All these things- how can I not understand it perfectly well on how words can be so destructive to a person? Ever since I was young, I've been hurt over & over again for things that people say about me behind my back, and also in front of me. I can still remember how when I was younger (probably 7 or so), my family & I went out for dinner & a very young girl (younger than me at the time) was laughing at me, saying how weird my legs looked & that I needed to be carried around by my mother. My dad comforted me saying words from people like that don't matter. All I needed to know was that he & my mother loved me. Still, deep inside those words hurt me enough for me to remember it till this day. 


Too often throughout my years as a primary & secondary student, there were "friends" who said things behind my back that pierces my heart. Many actually laughed at me & some boldly teased me as "cacat" (disabled) in the class. Looking back, I thank God that He gave me such loving parents so that I wouldn't even contemplate on suicide. But really, it hurts.


Now that I'm 20 and as I looked back on all the things that I've been through, I am ashamed to say that I've hurt many many people with my very own words. I've teased people too, and I've said things that hurt people just as how those "friends" hurt me when I was younger. As I trace back my memories of how I've come to be this person that I see in the mirror everyday, I realized that I wasn't like this all my life. As I was physically incapable of defending myself from the things people say about me, I realized that I was good at defending myself verbally. As I honed this "skill" I had, I realized that it was very easy for me to get revenge by teasing the people that teased me in the first place. 


Over the years it became a habit & before I realized it, sarcasm & hurtful words come very naturally to me. I'm awake now at 5.16 a.m. contemplating on this. I can't sleep knowing the damage that my every words has done to the people around me without me realizing it. And so,I prayed & made a covenant with Him and as I pray, I felt very burdened to write this. I want to speak for God & to share His Good News to everyone in the world. I won't want to just "speak well" & get praises while my very life is a contradiction to what I preach. 


I don't want to only "practice what I preach" but more importantly "preach what I practice". I can't do this without His very own WORD. All this while,the words spoken that hurt the people around me are not His words,but MINE. So I'm asking anyone whom I've heard over the past 2 decades of my existence to forgive me for what I've said & done for I was ignorant. I want to learn to LOVE and be able to say "I LOVE YOU" to everyone I meet, regardless what they have done & their past. 

"The power of one word can destroy a person but the Word of God gives LIFE to whoever who hears it. I must no longer live like the Word of God isn't in my life." - Daniel L.