The Power of WORDS

Teasing, gossiping, bad-mouthing a person, and any other forms of verbal bullying or abuse. All these things- how can I not understand it perfectly well on how words can be so destructive to a person? Ever since I was young, I've been hurt over & over again for things that people say about me behind my back, and also in front of me. I can still remember how when I was younger (probably 7 or so), my family & I went out for dinner & a very young girl (younger than me at the time) was laughing at me, saying how weird my legs looked & that I needed to be carried around by my mother. My dad comforted me saying words from people like that don't matter. All I needed to know was that he & my mother loved me. Still, deep inside those words hurt me enough for me to remember it till this day. 


Too often throughout my years as a primary & secondary student, there were "friends" who said things behind my back that pierces my heart. Many actually laughed at me & some boldly teased me as "cacat" (disabled) in the class. Looking back, I thank God that He gave me such loving parents so that I wouldn't even contemplate on suicide. But really, it hurts.


Now that I'm 20 and as I looked back on all the things that I've been through, I am ashamed to say that I've hurt many many people with my very own words. I've teased people too, and I've said things that hurt people just as how those "friends" hurt me when I was younger. As I trace back my memories of how I've come to be this person that I see in the mirror everyday, I realized that I wasn't like this all my life. As I was physically incapable of defending myself from the things people say about me, I realized that I was good at defending myself verbally. As I honed this "skill" I had, I realized that it was very easy for me to get revenge by teasing the people that teased me in the first place. 


Over the years it became a habit & before I realized it, sarcasm & hurtful words come very naturally to me. I'm awake now at 5.16 a.m. contemplating on this. I can't sleep knowing the damage that my every words has done to the people around me without me realizing it. And so,I prayed & made a covenant with Him and as I pray, I felt very burdened to write this. I want to speak for God & to share His Good News to everyone in the world. I won't want to just "speak well" & get praises while my very life is a contradiction to what I preach. 


I don't want to only "practice what I preach" but more importantly "preach what I practice". I can't do this without His very own WORD. All this while,the words spoken that hurt the people around me are not His words,but MINE. So I'm asking anyone whom I've heard over the past 2 decades of my existence to forgive me for what I've said & done for I was ignorant. I want to learn to LOVE and be able to say "I LOVE YOU" to everyone I meet, regardless what they have done & their past. 

"The power of one word can destroy a person but the Word of God gives LIFE to whoever who hears it. I must no longer live like the Word of God isn't in my life." - Daniel L.

The LIGHT of the CROSS!

The light from the Cross is not the limelight for any preacher. Jesus didn't die to give us a career, but to SAVE THE LOST!

- Reinhard Bonnke

Stepping from the comfort of college life into the uncertain road that God has called me into, one thing that I am certain of- He called me to share my life with others & to share His great love with the rest of the world. Even as I prepare myself to be a speaker for Him,no other preparation is greater than the seeking of His will & the testing of my heart. 

"Celebrity pastors/speakers/preachers" are quite the "hype" nowadays (just my opinion). Don't get me wrong,it's not a bad thing at all that the people of God are famous. I too pray that I'll be touching millions of lives like that one day. But I do see people getting overexcited over a particular pastor or maybe a very famous preacher, similar to the way many people were so crazy over Planetshakers coming, or when Jayesslee came to Malaysia. 


I'm not trying to question the intentions of the "fans" nor am I planning to say some bad about "celebrity pastors". The matter of fact is, as a pastor/speaker/preacher or anything that requires us to be at the forefront, there's always a fine line between shining the light of the cross that points to Jesus, and shining the limelight on ourselves that points to our capabilities. 


I know that because I believe God called me to speak and share my life with others for Him and as a speaker, there is always some part of me that enjoyed the limelight. Even as I'm writing this or any of my other blog posts, there is always some part of me that wants the number of readers to reach a certain amount or even praises and compliment for my writing. It's something that even experienced pastors/writers like Max Lucado go through. There is nothing wrong with enjoying what God has called us to do, but when we start to enjoy the GLORY that is supposed to be for Him then I guess we just need to check our hearts. 


So, even as I prepare to be a speaker for Him, would you pray with me so that my intentions will be pure, and that God will continue to search my heart & teach me to remember that the LIGHT I've seen is not my limelight,rather a humble light that came to SAVE the lost! It's such an honor to be able to serve God in this way, and I'm NOT gonna allow "the enemy" to try and persuade me that my mistakes makes me unworthy to be used by Him.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting. 

(Psalm 139:23-24)

Wake Up and Dream. The Time is NOW!!

EARC(East Asia Regional Conference) 2011 ended more than 3 weeks ago! =( I was so busy I only have the chance to write it now. It was such a great blessing to be able to come together as different people,with different tongues, race, culture & background, all praising and worshiping the same God!


It was a whole new experience to be grouped together with people from different nations & tongues. The most ironic thing of all was that never before have I, in any conferences or camps, clicked with my group mates so well & so instantly as this. The first time it happened was at this conference,where we come from different parts of the world with such different backgrounds.


Our theme for EARC was "Wake up and Dream. The Time Is Now." A rather weird title to me at first. Wake up & DREAM?? "Come on, go home & sleep if you wanna dream." That's what people always tell me when I tell them something that seem too ridiculous to be true. I guess that's why we don't dare to have big dreams anymore.


I want to IMPACT the people around me. I want to make a DIFFERENCE in the lives of many. I want to make a CHANGE in this NATION. With all that is happening in Malaysia now, it seems too hard; almost impossible that a mere one person can make much difference at all. All the corruption, the injustice, the oppression & the abuse of power. It seems like a far off dream to be able to change all these. Many of my friends say that it's no point trying to do anything, cause it won't happen. They opted to migrate to another "better" country. 


What I've learned from the conference is that if God can use Haggai to restart the building of God's temple & change the whole nation, then why can't He use us as well? I believe God will not just use one man (though He can) to change this nation because He will put in many of us the burden to make a change in this nation, however He will NOT overlook a person just because He is ONE man or one woman. Each one of us matter in the "rebuilding" of the temple of God in the hearts of many in our respective nations. If only each one of us are willing to lay down a BRICK each for the rebuilding work. I'm sure we will make a BRIDGE that will unite everyone in this nation.


SO, wake up!! Dare to DREAM!! The time is NOW!! Let's make a change & BE the change the our nations need, regardless of which countries we are from. One day, we will see each other again & we will share how God moved our nations massively. Be sure of it!  ;)


p/s: One other thing that made my time there in Singapore memorable has definitely got to be my lovely group members from Group 25 (or rather 2 Five 2 Furious!! XD ). I miss each one of u guys. Our awesome group leader & my finest student(for wheelchair): Miss Grace (Thailand), another Grace in the group(Malaysia), our awesome Singaporean delegate Gabriel, the 2 other "confused" Singaporean delegates who are not from Singapore: John (Malaysia) & Yachincha (Indonesia), the shy but definitely not what she portrays: Miss Immas (Indonesia), the funny guy in the group: Steven (Hong Kong) & last but not least, the sweetest member in our group: Miwa (Japan).


I love you guys & you all really taught me a lot. I really did appreciate the time we had together & I praise God for each one of YOU!! You guys (and girls) are AWESOME!!! 2 Five 2 Furious!! RAWR!!!! =D
Till we meet again, I'll keep you in my prayers ;)


Wake up and DREAM. The time is NOW! -EARC 2011-

R.I.U.T (Risk It. U-Turn)!!

Just came back from the 6 day National Conference: Risk It. U-Turn (R.I.U.T.) in Port Dickson and I would say that it was AWESOMENESS!!! The 6days was PACKED from morning til night but at the same time I feel myself getting more refreshed as the days went by. This conference is really something different. One thing about believers from all over Malaysia, some even from Korea, Africa & other foreign countries, ALL worshiping our God in UNITY makes it an UNFORGETTABLE experience.


This conference is much more "calm" as compared to certain camps that I went that gives the "spiritual hype" that  later on dies down. Nonetheless, it's impact is great, if not GREATER. It's gives me a clearer perspective of God's heart for the people of this world and my role in MAKING A DIFFERENCE in this nation. To walk against the social norms of this world that is not His will. God has put in my heart a burden to stand up against INJUSTICE when I see it happen, a burden to do my part in making this country a better nation by voting, to rise up against CORRUPTION, RACISM, OPPRESSION. Most of all, He taught me how to LOVE my neighbours more than I have before. To learn to LOVE like He does, not like I do.


Some of the highlights for me in NC:
1. More than 400 people from all around Malaysia came for this conference!! There's even a group of Koreans who came to Malaysia just for this conference!! AWESOMENESS!!! =)

2. Met tonnes of new friends, some mean a lot to me. Had tonnes of fun with my groupmates: Lyon, Jared,Bryan,Jessamine,Jee Leng,Kelly and Jacqueline. Really wanna thank God for each one of the friends that I've made in NC. Thank you Jeremy & William for the SHOULDERS during worship. HahahaXD.

3. Awesome time of FUN playing Frisbee during breaks with the gang of Frisbee people(Sophia, King, CK, etc.) . Made some of my most cherished friends in NC just through Frisbee. Really appreciate them for letting me lay & teaching me patiently. Thank God that I met Jane ("this" Jane) there who has encouraged me a lot through out the NC.

4.I wont forget the 1st person who gave me a smiley that encouraged me during NC. Thanks again Sue Jane for the smiley. Also thanks everyone else who gave me a smiley too. Jane Wee, Carmen... The smileys I got from NC is one of the things I cherished most from my experience in NC.

5. The Bible exploration by Dr. Thomas Chung was really a GREAT blessing to me & made a great impact in my experience there in NC. Go for GOLD baby!!~ XD

6. A very HONEST sharing from Haris Ibrahim really touched me a lot. His opinion of what is happening in this country, as a Malay, as a Muslim but MOST OF ALL as a MALAYSIAN FIRST. His courage to stand and voice out against injustice, oppression and racism despite threats and challenges was really inspiring. It was an eye opening sharing that puts a burden in my heart to stand against INJUSTICE and fighting RACISM.

7. All the time that Annette was on stage giving the R.I.U.T. report, making jokes, giving announcements and even the time when she officially hands her post over as she moves on to a new journey in IFES was a blessing to me throughout the NC. Annette is really one of a kind. She can still make people laugh at the most touching of situations. LOL

8. The WHOLE NC itself was one of the best thing that happened to me. No words could sum up how much this 6 days has been a blessing to me. I just pray that now that I'm back here to "reality", I could stand strong and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the community around me and then the nation.

What will you do when you realized that you've been driving in the wrong direction? Will you continue driving straight? Or Risk It? Make a U-Turn that is NECESSARY in LIFE? 

Risk It. U-Turn. R.I.U.T!!!!

True LOVE

True love is something that can't be earned. It's not something that can be traded or bought. It is either GIVEN or RECEIVED; and of course the best when it's both ways.

Many times, however, I do find myself unknowingly doing things to "earn" the love of the people around me. My intentions may start off as pure; merely to encourage a person, but I slowly realize that deep inside me, I do expect to receive in return the love that I've given out. It may be in the form of wanting a closer friendship, attention, care in return. Well, it's nothing wrong to want all these things but I find myself giving CONDITIONAL love, rather than UNCONDITIONAL love; meaning I have "conditions" to how much love I pour out to a person (although unconsciously).

I am then very humbled when I realized the fact that God gave me LOVE freely, unconditionally & endlessly. That is TRUE LOVE. There's nothing I can do to earn more of His love, nor anything that will make Him love me less. This love is GIVEN to me freely for me to RECEIVE. Nothing I do,be it going to church, reading the Bible nor serving in church will make Him love me more. Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying that we don't have to do all these as Christians, I'm saying that NONE of these things will make Him love me more than He ALREADY has. Neither does any of my sin will make Him love me less (I'm not saying it'a ok to sin..You know what I mean).

With this knowledge of what TRUE LOVE is, I'm trying my best to show love to people around me WITHOUT laying down terms & conditions. I'm STILL learning to care for people around me without expecting anything more than the well- being of the person. This really encourages me to continue caring & encouraging people around me though they may not appreciate or even realize it.

P.S: Remember, NOTHING can make JESUS love you MORE than He ALREADY has; nor anything that will make Him love you LESS. You are EVERYTHING to Him.

First Things FIRST

WOW!!! It has been a tiring & hectic week for me. Wasn't really sleeping well & didn't really get enough rest from all the assignments to complete but just really wanna praise God for all the thing's I've been through this week! Though it was a hectic week, it was just so AMAZING spending time with HIM and really experiencing meaningful quiet time of devotion & reflection.

I was troubled by something for the past few days (well, I still am...sorta...) & I didn't really know what to do, & I had no one to talk about it with =(. I was praying before doing my devotion & asked God to help me through this & as I opened the devotional material, guess what popped out?

The passage for the day touched on Matthew 6:25-34. Verse 33 really spoke to me. "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)

I was worrying about something that I can't control, only to find out it was all in vain. I don't know what is going to happen nor I know whether things will go the way I would like it to be. I do have to admit that this kinda shifted my perspective on what is important for a while (which was not good...) but God was gracious & reminded me of what I should seek FIRST: His KINGDOM & His RIGHTEOUSNESS, instead of putting Him second to my worries.

This week was really an AWESOME time reflecting & meditating on His word. Though I am still slightly troubled by it, I am really touched to be reminded of God's FAITHFULNESS & that HE is always hearing me. I will focus on what He has set me to do, with pure intentions & surely He will be FAITHFUL in His promise to me. First things FIRST, is what matters most.

Never lose sight of what is FIRST in life.

When I say, "I DO"?

Was doing my devotion just now before bedtime & felt a very strong urge to share this that I decided to get up from bed and blog this.

Devotion was on Genesis 24: 61- 67, regarding how Rebekah came to marry Isaac. Well, Isaac's father, Abraham arranged this marriage before his death. Both Isaac & Rebekah had never met each other before that but he married her, and LOVED her.

What I got from this devotion basically reminds me of what I've seen happening around me. A lot of us would fall in love, get into a relationship but after that is faced with a dilemma when the feeling of love isn't the same anymore. I've always taken romantic relationships very seriously. To me, a romantic relationship isn't just a trial nor is it for fun, but I'll look at it just I as I would with MARRIAGE.

"Feelings" on itself is NOT a reliable measure of the strength of your relationship with another person, mainly because our "feelings" tend to change from time to time. Many couples break up because "the feeling is no longer like how it used to be" or "the feeling of love has faded". At times, feelings towards our partner (GF/BF/wife/husband,etc.) may change but LOVE is more than just FEELINGS, it's a life- long COMMITMENT. Many people take love so lightly & when the so-called "feelings" are gone, they find it hard to maintain a relationship with their partners.

So, I was thinking how does this devotion apply to my life? Is God teaching me what to do when I'm in a relationship? Yes, I believe so BUT when I meditate on it a little longer, another thought just popped into my mind. I compared this to my relationship with God & realized that as a human, with all my defects & weaknesses, my "feelings' for God might sometimes fade & that is when I start to stray away from Him. I should not just rely on this kind of "feelings" to determine my walk with God.

Sometimes I find myself stop praying or doing devotion just because I don't "feel like it" & do not want to do it just for the sake of doing it. I realized that when I said "I DO." to God, it's is a COMMITMENT & that though at times my feelings may change (because of sin, distractions,etc. ), I would not let this get in the way with my LOVE & my RELATIONSHIP with Him. I just have to put in more effort to seek Him with all my heart, & when I feel like I can't hold on, I'll always have His STRENGTH that hold this relationship together.

So, if you manage to even read until this part of the long post, & you find yourself struggling with your passion for God; wondering why it's not the same as it used to be, remember, love is MORE than feelings, it's a COMMITMENT & when you make a commitment with God, HE will give you the strength to hold on to Him. So, don't give up!! Take this into account too when thinking about our romantic relationships.

Hope you are blessed by this. Sorry for the "long-windedness":P

If you want a relationship WITHOUT a COMMITMENT, marry a COMPUTER.

^^&