I used to find myself relying on no one else but my own strength. All my life, I've been a burden to others & what I hate the most; yes,even more than being weak; is to be a burden to the people around me, especially the ones I love. When I consider turning to God, I figured "Nah, I'm not strong in my relationship with God yet & I'm not wise enough to understand His will. I can pray all I want, but I'd still can't see God's way."
Well, this is one thing God proved me WRONG!! In my darkest hour, and without having a strong relationship with Him nor having much understanding of God, was when God understood me the most. It then struck me. God did not come to save the righteous nor did he come to help the strong. HE came to SAVE the sinners, to COMFORT the weary, to STRENGTHEN the weak. HE CAME TO SAVE ME!! It's a very humbling experience to know that GOD THE ALMIGHTY would look at a speck of dust like me who does not know Him.
Yes, He would not come and say "I'm here to take your pain away". But ONE thing God told ME was "I know it's painful & I know it hurts, but you don't have to do this alone. I'm here with you, always. You are NEVER alone."
P.S: I know you feel that it's very fake when people ask you how you are and all, so I didn't ask. But I'm praying for you. You are not alone & you don't have to be. You don't have to be "strong enough" to seek God. Each one of us matters to Him just as much. He's our Heavenly Father after all. - Same goes to all those who are reading this post ;) -
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)
Well, no harm learning to rely on ur friends too sometimes ;)
Hope you are blessed by this,
-DaNiEL-

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